Last night I was all tucked in my bed with my headphones on my ears watching “The fast and the furious – Tokyo drift” – as everybody was staying indoors from some reason. At one point (about 10:30) I received an sms … like c’mon join us. Pff… I had to, and I ended up in the city drinking a lot of cocktails. Then at about 1:30 I said I’d go home … but no … I got home at about 4… thinking issues I assume. Ahh anyway, I’ve got to find a place to move out. Staying here kills a lot of stuff from my life ..
Have to shower and everything now. Have a nice weekend, what’s left of it !

So … the trip was not exactly to Århus, it was more like to Scanderborg (?!?) I think that’s how you spell it out … It has definitely been interesting. Would have wished to be there more, as I didn’t get a chance to see the city, or anything but I must say that the Pilgrim Center is pretty interesting, as it holds around 130 persons (as I understood it). Had a nice meeting, although the guys at the web agency were pretty offensive trying to make us realize that they already know the SEO practices as they have already checked with Google. Damn they did … I am not vouching upon that as I couldn’t get all the conversation but still I am pretty sure that they didn’t have a clear view of what they were talking about, and were just looking into being offensive. I traveled with Martin, he was a good entertainer on the first part of the road, but on the way back … as I am writing this, he is mentally tired ( do NOT read retired or other deviations), so we each found a shelter in our own laptop. The train goes very fast right now, I’d say 140… maybe a bit more (Martin says). I have just fulfilled a part of my dream … working for a company, traveling 1^st class (ok it’s on the train but still); and participating to meetings. Of course there is always room for improvement …. As the destination can be London, Paris or New York instead of Scanderborg…., the meetings could be high-level and would really love to have more than a few hours at it. But, as one of my friends say “Baby steps Mihai, Baby steps“ . Today it’s Denmark, Sunday is Sweden and with a bit of luck in a few months I will be traveling somewhere else as well.

I have realized recently that I have the urge to travel a lot, and moreover that I enjoy traveling. That’s good as before I was reticent to it, feeling very uncomfortable when I had to leave and ruin my peace. But there is nothing keeping me on the ground anyway, no family, no girlfriend and definitely no kids at this point. This seems to be the right moment …I just know have to create the environment in which this happens.

It’s funny how my responsibilities have changed throughout the last months. First I was a technical search assistant, and what do you know, now, discussing it with Martin I have just changed my title to “Technical Search Advisor”. So ladies and gents (like anybody reads this anyway) from today this is the new me. At work things are busy and sometimes frustrating … If I could I would spend much of the day there… but there is school. It’s quite good thought that I like what I do, and most of the times I find myself staying at work until 5 and not even finishing up what I had to do. It’s challenging and it’s fun, and it’s of course time consuming and sometimes nerve consuming but I have a really good job which I am trying to get the maximum out of. Oh the J side of the problem, I am still in a huge doubt. Not sure whether I should go into this now or not. I feel that although I am establishing new waypoints on a surface level, I am loosing a lot of ground of the deeper, very important level. Going back and forth on the same platform I’d say. I’m loosing not only this battle but this war as well. But as a sedated soldier I am probably going to keep on fighting until I will eventually die. I have managed to pull myself back, using the “quick and dirty way”, and now it hurts less, or maybe I just got to understand that I need a different approach to it. In 30 minutes I should be back in Copenhagen, but my laptop say is can still survive for 2 hours at least, so I’m probably going to keep on writing. Neah … just kidding .. it’s Friday and I am sipping beer on the 1^st class DSB train from Scandenborg to Copenhagen …. Have a nice one folks.

It’s sad.. actually it is more than sad…. it’s actually worse. But I guess that’s what life is all about. It’s a sequence of sad events, knitted painfully with good ones … if they exist. It is definately a new land for me, and a new challenge that ended even before I started to see what is all about. Or has it ? Untill now I described it seldomly as a wall … but I come to belive just now that it’s so much more than a wall . A new world of which atmosphere I just got to slightly breath. Why cannot I be passive ? Why do I always have to care and get somehow emotionally involved… and again thrown in the sandbox like I never left it. It took months to get back, on my own … it took thousands of seconds of emptyness and coldness to be redempted. Imagine a row of drops of water falling in the darkness … without touching anything … at all… no hitting sound … no echo … just water falling … and silence. It’s damn hard to put that something under … to stop waisting all the water. I have to re-learn to become flexible … again. Seems I’ve vaguely over-estimated my power to handle my emotions. Using to belive that I could handle feelings like objects … I used to do that, and cannot anymore. I feel I have the power to push someone else to grow, to heal … to evolve, but in the same time I know that I cannot push me, being actually quite sad. I’ve always drew my powers from others happiness and fulfillment … can’t now, don’t know how to do it anymore. Is it because i have changed the environment ? Maybe… Is it because people here tend to keep themselvs closed ? Definately. I feel forced to live only for myself, surrounded only by selfishness and self-concern … but can I do that ?

I’ve spent most of this weekend in-house, doing mostly nothing. But anyway, my pixmania order finally arrived. I am now the proud owner of a Logitech X-230 sistem. And right now, I am pumping some music through them. I’ve been dissapointed by pixmania though, as my order took almost two weeks to complete. First I thought I would receive the item, from somewhere in Denmark, then they told me that the warehouse is in Germany, and finally on my package the senders address was somewhere in France. Sheesh … anyway, I am very glad that I finally have them and I am enjoying myself listening music louder and obviously clearer then before. My “Altec Lansing” laptop speakers can now take a break from my musical abuse.
My parents are sending a package this week from home, containing among others some dvd’s with movies made by my bro’ back home Cucu , and chocolate ofcourse (Poiana that is).
I am probably going to go shopping today in Fisketorvet or Fields, and if I do I will come back with details about what I bought.
Tomorrow a new week starts, work again and ofcourse school again. I am trying to set my schedule in this period to make sure I can cope with both of them efficiently (in the same time hopefully). Meeting with Danisco … on tuesday I think … wish me luck