The day started with me admiring the roars of a navy-blue Ferrari filling Kogens Nytorv with an unusual “good morning” that most danes seemed quite unhappy to hear and unwilling to understand. For Romania that would have been just another normal and boring day. As I was heading towards work I suddenly realised that for some reason I am not getting enough sleep, finding it quite weird as I didn’t feel extremely tired when I went to bed the night before, but mornings are starting to act up on me like I’m a lazy truck driver. Find it boring to do nothing again, so the Google meeting I had from 3 to 4:30 came like a charm to keep me awake. Nils being absent I charged the Google product specialist which came to entertain us with the G’s newest tricks and gadgets, in an agressive way surprising even myself. I reminded how shy I was in my first meeting with them. I almost bowed to them for coming. You want to know what they’ve been up to ? They plan to replace PayPal now … oh, did that came as a shock ? It shouldn’t have … as we are going to see a lot of them in the near future. Something tells me that they are going to hit big style all of our current structure, but fortunately enough that doesn’t mean that everything they come up with is going to catch. This will mean that allready existing service providers will have to come up with something special, or a special offer to contra-balance the mighty shiny and mostly free services mr G offers meaning better and cheaper services for us, end users. Enough of that for today … I will come back with something tomorrow as I assume it …`nite … 10 days left.

No care, no stop! so senseless of expense,
That he will neither know how to maintain it,
Nor cease his flow of riot: takes no account
How things go from him, nor resumes no care
Of what is to continue: never mind
Was to be so unwise, to be so kind.
———————————–

Touchless stairs in air for better redemption of our own souls. Or just waiting for a brush to paint everything white again, making everything seem easier and preparing our eyes for the light of tomorrow. Is it indeed our minds that make us fly beyond the appearance of which the outer masks prevail. Hoping that someday soon I shall let myself go in the sea of sorrow. Counting hours now … 11 days left

It was an interesting one today, after having a quick talk with Martin about my problems with the technical analysis (which was a half/half pleasant talk), I’ve spent the rest of the day doing a meeting and … nothing. Dolce fare niente … like my italian friend would have said. Has it ever occured to you that when you are walking in a forest, you hear birds sing somewhere close, but not exactly near you ? Ok, then probably as being a child, you wanted to go near the birds, to hear the nice whistles .. but once you get to the place / tree where you think the birds are in … the birds stop singing and you here another whistle somewhere in the place you first left. It’s like chasing wild goose … you always thing it’s a piece of cake but they get away everytime. Some have that as a life, chasing a whistle they hear in another tree and it might sound more appealing. The thing about these persons is though their curiosity keeps their interest alive, they never tend to get what they want, as they never have the patience to harvest it. They get “called” by the sound of a better life, a better person to be with or just a better job … and each time they jump again, as they are never satisfied with what they get. I find myself for a few moments in that place sometimes. It feels a bit like the need to eat, you know you can’t eat that much cause you’ll feel bad, but you still stuff big juicy sandwiches in your mouth …
‘Night people …

Have you ever felt that moment when you feel that something inside you has … dissapeared ?
Probably yes, probably not … Well, in case you don’t it feels fuckin weird. Knowing that something
that you knew it was there, you could have virtually “touched” it, and sometimes it became a ground basis to inspire your trust and your further hopes and dreams just poofed away … pooof.
I find that fascinating, relating on parts of our life in different moments to sustain our performance and continuanity in time. Most of the times you rely on knowledge, of what you actually learnt to help you succed in a school, in a new job or just a dinner-like conversation you might carry with a know-stuff person. You built your schelet relying on that. Some other times there are just feelings, basic normal every-day feelings. souds weird but whaever you might want to attend on your own, it’s not possible without going to feelings. That’s a bit weird .. loosing feelings. In the same time you have to earn something to put in the place that’s now empty (vacancy like). Friends for example, friends make a great replacement for all kinds of lost soul assets.Finding the right friend, uh well that’s just another story …
good night …

Good day good day … trully a premiere for me to post so early, as it is just 17:19. The reason why I am doing this is because later I will join a party with some of my schoolmates. I predict this is going to be a heavy night. I’ve just received some wine from my parents, which I will take the advantage of sipping tonight … not all of it … as it’s 5 bottles. Today was a normal boring day … the sun failed to enlighten my day therefore I felt sleepy and shitty all day long. And boy did I have things to do, and luckly enough I think I finished them. A blonde smile caught my eye as I was erupting work in a rithm of Sierra Leone’s black wind. It felt good to feel free, and to smell a bit of happynes being carried into my hair like a turtle dove. We have guests …
I am starting the count-down today for my coming home. It’s been 6 months already. I need to see my sea …
16 days left

Here I am again … late as usual. I’m 20 now, 5 days ago… I’ve been asked how do I see life now. Good question, do I see it deferently ? I can feel things going a bit more boring. I’m now among the “olders” … Nothing changed in resposability or overall perception. I guess it’s up to me to make it better… much better. I’ve attented the Zulu Rocks, intriguing show .. but enough for that.
I’ve had my 2nd semester exam today. A bit easier than I expected, mainly because of the examiners that bought a lot of bullshit (or who knows, perhaps I was saying good things). Work is overwhelming me. Lots of requests, no time to adequately resolve all of them, but the hope is within 2 things. Funny enough they both end with “day” … payday and holiday. First means money, which means occupation buying stuff (especially clothes) and some planned merchandise from my family when I go home. Holiday … now that’s another story … Lasting 3 weeks and spreading over the whole Black Sea Beach my holiday will be one of extreme drinking cumulated with small bits of work and meeting friends. I think I’ve already got a schedule in order to meet people. My design teacher Jens, was stuck on the word “carpenter” today. He kept buggin’ everyone about how our business would attract carpenters. Who the heck cares about carpenters. Almost fallin’ asleep. I guess that I have to catch up with some sleep… lost nights and drained brains. Tomorrow is work for me again. Somehow I enjoy having an occupation (and money ofcourse), as other times I miss being lazy. Oh well, you cannot have them all, or can you?

Last night my internet connection worked so bad that I couldn’t access my blog. And I’ve gathered so many things in mind that I wanted to write about that now I find it hard to choose one. I wanted to talk about the mobile world, and about how small things become … then I thought I’d discuss some politics and the recent Iraq leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi that has been killed, and now I just bet that I will write another 5 lines as it is 12:28 and though I do not feel it I think I am a bit tired. Tomorrow is supposed to be a really hot day … therefore I might hit the beach with a few classmates. 25 degrees they say … Oh well …
Next week is my birthday … I’m turning 20… changing the prefix as the word goes. I will write about that close to the event. I bought some stuff yesterday, a couple of shirts, a pair of pants … and a watch, as my Citizen World Football timer limited edition seems to be very hard to fix. The new one is a Junghans, and I am putting in a picture. Looks pretty nice doesn’t it ? Oh well… it was a good deal, therefore I had my birthday present early (self-made birthday present). I think I might log off now … catch u tomorrow evening maybe …

I saw this question today… what is love ? And I belive it is one of the most important questions in human history, as it has influenced our understading and perception on how things move around in the world. I belive that understanding love has started wars and created peace, has given birth to children and has killed others, has pertained to evolution and has hidden secrets that might show our weaknesses. Has given us hope and has dissapointed us… but enough. Strangely enough, I belive that love is a state of the soul. Not of the mind … not of the sexual organs, just the soul. It’s something that makes us better than we usually tend to be, or perhaps if powerfull enough will change our overall life into a better one. Yes, I think love is the good thing in our life, it’s the only thing that created this world, it’s what keeps us alive and going, and it’s what illuminates into our heart so we can see our way full of dusk and stones. It’s what makes it breath and creates that feeling of … calm inside you. Have you ever felt that ? That no matter what happens in your life, no matter how hard things will go in every single direction, as long as you have love, and the loved one(s) near you things will be all right one way or the other. That is perhaps when loosing a beloved you feel like a piece of your life goes away. Needing love is natural, I’d say and even some don’t like to admit it eventually, everybody needs some form of love. In the same time the more you love someone … you need to get some love back. What happens if you don’t ? You go down …

I find myself these days … shallow. I took a few moments to think about that … shallow. Sounds kind of interesting, doesn’t it ? Why am I saying this … probably because everything is so behind now. I have one fear though … and that is feeling. What if I start to feel again ? What happens then ? I’m not saying that I do not feel anything anymore at all … I do … it’s just somewhere deep inside covered by dust and hopes. And I belive that I can push it even lower …
I’m not funny anymore … I used to be funny, I rarely smile from my heart or laugh as I used to. Maybe that is why it hurts so much, because I forgot that life is to be joked at, and not least to be deadly laughed at. It is perhaps the beggining of a new stage in understading feelings, as actually I find myself unaware of how to react in certain situations. I stay in doubt whether to be the one I was before (myself) or to be the one that is about to be born inside me … (the new me). I am between the boundries of understanding and tranquility. A nice word this one “tranquility”… could I find what I miss on the other part of life … or should I start building my clock from scratch …